My Dark, Rainy Dreams

I woke up today to cool winds and gentle rain. After weeks of scorching heat, it was more than welcome.  The drive to work had the perfect weather conditions – lovely grey clouds, cold winds and a slight, steady drizzle. I prefer dark, rainy or cloudy days to bright sunny days; the moon to the sun and the night with its mysteries to the day with its illuminations.

At night, I don’t dream very often. And if I do, it is usually a confusing jumble of images that fades away minutes after I wake up. It is very, very rare for me to have a scary nightmare. But, I have one recurring dream and two dreams that were so clear and vivid that I can see the scenes even now, if I just think about it.

In all 3 of these dreams, it was dark and raining very heavily.

The mansion, the ghosts and silence

I had this dream when I was in middle school. There was a huge mansion in the style of old Victorian houses. The house was surrounded by thick woods. There was an absolute silence and stillness in the house – no wind, no sound of people walking or talking, no movement. It was raining very heavily – I could see the rain but I could not hear it.  In the dream, it felt like I was alone in the house, yet I could feel that there were other presences around me. Also, there was no light anywhere in the house. Though, it was daytime, it was quite dark because of the heavy rain. The most vivid scene I can recall is of me sitting by a huge window and gazing out into the woods that surrounded the house through the pouring rain. I also remember this feeling of peace. I was not scared or startled at any moment during the dream and I remember I woke up calmly with the images still vivid.

I think of this dream whenever I feel things are closing in on me and I need to breathe. I loved the stillness and darkness and I loved the feeling of being at peace in that house.

Running away from shadows

I had this particular dream when I was in high-school and like the dream above, I had this only once but even after so many years I remember it vividly. It was a very dark day; the kind of darkness that comes from heavy rain clouds. It was raining very heavily and I could hear the rain. In fact, all I could hear was the rain. I was in my school uniform and out in what I’m pretty sure was the road right outside my school. There were some vehicles on the road. I was running down the road; running away from something. I remember that I was very scared as I ran in the rain. I also vividly remember my black shoes hitting the water on the road as I ran. I woke up suddenly – scared and shaken.

This was one of the very few scary dreams I’ve had and this one was by far the scariest. I do not remember now if there was anything or any event that triggered this dream. I, most certainly, did not have any reason to be afraid of my school or the people connected to it. It was a road down which I walked everyday with my friends and all I have are memories of laughing and walking together. But it was one of those dreams or rather nightmares when the fear was absolute. I’m quite glad that I’ve never had that dream again.

The little house at the end of the dead-end street

There is a small dead-end street which has a huge wall on one side and houses on the other. There is a beautiful, little house at the very end of the dead-end street. It has a patio and huge windows. It has vines growing over the roof and spilling over. There is never any light inside the house. It is a dark, cloudy day and it is raining very heavily. I live in this house.

That is it. It is just the house and me living in it. I have this dream once every few months and I love it.  It always leaves me with a feeling of peace and belonging. The quiet street, the simple house and the beautiful rain feel like home to me. I wonder if this house really exists somewhere and I wonder if I will come across it. I hope I do.

I do not know what a recurring dream of a house means. I do not know why in my most important and vivid dreams it is always raining. But, I do know that these three dreams are very important to me. I will always remember them and see them when I wish to. I also hope I never stop having the dream of the little house at the end of the dead-end street. Someday, I want to sit down with an artist and try to get these three dreams painted. Till then, I will close my eyes and see these precious dreams play out.

Late at night, I drift away –
I can hear you calling,
And my name,
Is in the rain,
Leaves on trees whispering,
Deep blue sea’s mysteries.
– Enya

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